Do You Give Help From a Place of Love or Pity?

help_from_place_of_loveImage Credit: PrettyPink

Last Friday was a huge wakeup call for me.

It started off as a typical Friday night. I put on some casual clothes and headed off to Starbucks. I usually have my chai tea latte while planning for the week ahead in my journal, and then head off to the supermarket for my weekly food shopping. However, this past Friday was marked by an impossible-to-miss series of unfortunate events, which shook me to the core.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

On my way to Starbucks I almost got hit by a car, when the driver decided to u-turn by driving the car up the pavement. While in Starbucks, a guy next to me was mugged and was giving a report to a couple of policemen. On my way to the supermarket, a trucker got into a fight with another policeman for giving him a parking ticket. The climax of my night was when, on the way home, I run across a woman crying and bleeding after she got beaten up by her husband…

There was a group of people around her, comforting her, giving her the first aids, and bringing her some water and a chair to sit on, while I just stood there in shock.

I stood there!

A woman was suffering, and all I did was stand there flabbergasted, and watched as other people did all the helping.

When I eventually got back home and my initial shock subsided, I was overcome by a surge of guilt and unworthiness. While I spend my time sipping my chai tea lattes and writing articles about love and happiness in the comfort of my house, there are people in desperate need of that love and happiness.

What worth is all my talk when I fail to put it into action?

Helping From a Place of Love

I’ve always believed that the easiest way to help anyone is by ignoring their pain and affirming their healing. This is because, when you allow someone’s negative state to affect you, you’re ripped off of your power to help them. In other words, you can’t heal another’s discomfort when you are also in a state of discomfort. You have to be the love, in order to give them love.

As a result, for the past five years I’ve made it my goal to ignore the overwhelming negativity in the world. I’ve refused to watch the news, read the newspapers or face reality in any way, in order to maintain my alignment with love, to be the source of it, and help from this heightened perspective.

The only missing piece of my be-love-to-give-love formula was that, in my desire to be the source of love, I’ve forgotten to actually turn it into action. Fortunately, my series of unfortunate events was pure divine guidance, letting me know that it is time to start walking my talk.

Turn knowledge into action

But, how do you give help without losing your alignment to love? Is it really possible to remain unaffected by other people’s negativity while helping them?


Here’s my updated, be-love-to-give-love formula:

  1. Rid your life from all negativity. By breaking out of the pattern of reading, watching, talking, and writing about negative things, you free yourself from external control, and you become the sole determinant of your happiness.
  2. Be the source of love. Your primary goal should be to be the presence of love, and this means seeking for, and practicing the emotion of love in a conscious way. Check out this article for ways to do so.
  3. Give help from a place of love. Once you’ve become the source of love, don’t waste it on just yourself. Extend this love by helping someone in need. Volunteer, donate to a charity you support, help a friend in need, give a compliment to a friend, or smile to a stranger.

The key to helping from a place of love is to let the love you feel inspire the action, rather than taking action from a place of  guilt, pity, and negativity.

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How to Eat Your Way to Success


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Within the past five years I gave up meat, milk, alcohol, smoking, and, since a month ago, sugar. When people ask me why, I tell them that all of the above make me feel heavy and lethargic…

I’m usually faced with blank stares and lots of question marks.

In my desire to better understand my radical diet changes and explain them to others, and myself, I couldn’t help but wonder (my Carrie Bradshaw moment): What is it about all these foods and substances that drains me? Is there a logical explanation behind this, or am I a victim of yet another cultural trend?

I’ve always believed that every body is unique, and responds to different foods in different ways – so that meat energizes some, and depresses others. Yet, I had an itch that there was something bigger and deeper behind this simplistic explanation.

Life-force energy

Every part of nature, including humans, contain life-force energy. Life-force is a form of spiritual energy that fosters our alignment with God or Source. The earth is innately connected to Source, and is therefore a powerful portal of life-force energy. In this respect, the closer something is to the earth, and the more direct its connection to it, the more life-force energy it has access to. This is why you always feel better after you go for a walk in the park.

From this perspective, the more direct the connection of our food is to nature, the higher its life-force energy. Just as the biomass decreases as you move up the food pyramid, so does life-force energy. Therefore, fruits, pulses, and vegetables have an ample supply of life-force, whereas meat, bread, and all animal products have less life-force energy. Moreover, the more processed the food is, the less life-force energy it contains, as it gets depleted when you alter its original state.

As a result, the more high life-force foods you consume, the easier it will be to maintain your alignment to Source, and the more low life-force foods you eat, the harder it will be to maintain your alignment. When I refer to alignment, I refer primarily to the feelings of unconditional love, happiness and inspiration, which are synonymous to what Source, God, Spirit, and therefore, to what you really are.

How much alignment do you need?

The higher your desired degree of alignment, the higher the life-force energy you need to maintain it.

The reason most spiritual people choose to become vegetarians, vegans, or adjust their diet in some radical way, is because of the high level of alignment they need to do the work they are guided to do. If your purpose is to inspire others, you have to be at the peak of inspiration. If you are here to teach love and forgiveness, you have to be the source of love and forgiveness.

In other words, to be the light, you have to eat in the light.

Turn knowledge into action

Take a look at your life, your goals, and purpose, and determine how much love, happiness, and inspiration you need to thrive. How much vitality and aliveness do you need in your current job? If you are still unclear of what your purpose is, follow my step-by-step formula to find out.

Once you are clear about what you are here to be and do, start noticing how the food you eat affects your emotions, after you’ve consumed it. Does meat energize you or deplete you? Do you feel better after you have cheese, or worse? And so on.

Commit to quitting one single food that prevents you from functioning at your desired level, and notice how this transforms your energy-levels and performance.

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You Can’t Fail on your Life Purpose


Once you find your life purpose you cannot run away from it. Finding your life purpose is, really, synonymous to finding yourself, for it is an expression of who you are. Your life purpose is you, and the sense of fulfillment you experience when you become aware of it, will urge you, for as long as you live, to follow it, and fulfill it.

You are guided

Knowing what your life purpose is, or having an awareness of it, although exciting at first, also comes with fear and unknowingness of how to go about it. Paradoxically, the key to soothing that fear is realizing that your life purpose is not really yours. In truth, your purpose is God’s purpose of love, which you express through your unique set of skills, talents, and personality.

From this perspective, the specific path to fulfilling your life purpose is always given to you. God, Source, the Universe, whatever you want to call it, always provides you with signs, instincts, and guidance, nudging you towards the right path.

How do you read the signs?

By paying attention to the way you feel. That’s what Joseph Campbell meant when he said, “Follow your bliss.” As I explained in my article Finding your Life Purpose, the way you feel is directly related to being in alignment with it. If something feels good, it resonates with your purpose, if it doesn’t feel good, it doesn’t.

From this respect, if you make all your decisions from a place of feeling good, you are on the right path.

It will get bigger

What if you miss the signs? What if you can’t tell what feels good, and what feels bad? Are you doomed to fail?

Not at all. Even if you miss the signs, make all the wrong choices, and completely ignore your instincts to follow your purpose, you will still, eventually, fulfill it.

The benefit of having God, the angels, and the entire universe backing you up, is that they will never give up on you. You have to realize that, at any moment, you have Source energy beings focused upon you, seeking for ways to communicate with you. If you can’t read their subtle signs, they’ll send you bigger ones.

Two years ago, and having purposely ignored the signs I received to quit smoking and alcohol, I ended up getting drunk and stepping onto the hot iron of a hair straightener… barefoot. I ended up getting a huge blister on my foot which kept me at home for a month. I haven’t had alcohol, or smoked a cigarette ever since.

The message was loud and clear (and painful!).

How to read the signs

Take my story as both, reassuring and encouraging. Remember, that you are the only person who is qualified to fulfill your life purpose. Nobody else can outshine you, because you’ve got monopoly over what you are here to be, and to give.

However, knowing is not enough. Your must take action. Empowered by your trust in Source’s support, as well as your own abilities, you need to have the courage to push through your fears, and act on the signs and impulses you receive.

An easy process to ensure that you receive Source’s signs, is to, mentally, verbally, or in written form, ask your Angels to send you signs in a way that you will understand them. This last bit is really important, for you give your Angels access into your personal system of understanding symbols and signs, so that they can guide you in a more palpable and apparent way.

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How to Cry your Way to Happiness (100% crying guarantee)


Crying leads to happiness!

It sounds paradoxical, but when you approach it from the right perspective crying will get you on a path straight to bliss.

I’ve always been someone who urged people to cry, not because I like watching them suffer, but because I know that unless you let it out it’ll only get worse. You see, crying is not the creation of negative emotion as many people associate it with, but rather the release of negative emotion. Haven’t you wondered why you always feel better after a crying session?

Let me explain why.

The emotional scale

All emotions can be classified on a scale, ranging from negative ones like depression, disempowerment, fear and resentment on the one end, to the positive emotions of empowerment, freedom, happiness, and bliss on the other end. Whereas the jump from depression straight to happiness is possible, we usually navigate the emotional scale in a more subtle way.

In other words, your healing trajectory from depression to happiness will take you up the emotional scale one emotion at a time. Depression will turn into anger, then revenge, disappointment, and into frustration, until you eventually work yourself up into your desired positive state.

Crying is the mechanism that drives this trajectory. The reason you feel better after crying, is because you’ve completely exhausted the particular emotion that triggered the cry, and moved up the emotional scale to a more positive one. All an emotion wants is to be acknowledged, after which it loses its power completely.

Emotional cul-de-sac

The reason many people perceive crying in a negative way is because, when approached from the wrong perspective, it also has the potential of keeping you in an emotional standstill. Once you release an emotion through crying, you are faced with two choices: You can either embrace the positive emotion that has surfaced as a result, or you can go back to the old one.

Emotions are created by thoughts and beliefs. Therefore, if after crying you return back to the negative thought-pattern that created that past emotion, you will end up re-creating it. This keeps you in a vicious circle of negativity that prevents you from moving up the emotional scale.

My crying process

Before you call me a masochist, let me assure you that this process will not conjure up any form of external negativity. It is simply a self-reflection exercise that will help you express pent-up emotions that are already within you, and guide you to move up the emotional scale.

The only tool you’ll need is a mirror. Mirror work was popularized by Louise Hay, as a powerful process for self-reflection. Louise suggests that when you look into your eyes you are forced to face your truth. The masks come off and you can no longer lie to yourself – everything comes to the surface. Although Louise Hay suggests using mirror work to do positive affirmations, my process is quite different.

Step #1 – I invite you to look into your eyes for ten minutes. It may sound fickle and simplistic, but it’s harder than it sounds. In the first few minutes your ego will mock the entire process, and you, urging you to give up. Eventually, its power will dissipate, its walls will crumble, and you’ll be able to access your soul. And then all hell will break loose.

Step #2 – The few minutes after you’ve cried your heart out, are the most important in moving up the emotional scale. Instead of ending the session feeling defeated, choose to see the positive side. Turn your strife into tenacity, find the blessing behind the obstacle, and literally talk yourself into a better-feeling-state. This will be surprisingly easy to do, because having cried the past negative emotion out, you’ve exhausted its power, and you’ll naturally gravitate towards a more positive one.

Use this exercise whenever you need to unload, and you’ll soon be crying your way to happiness.

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Conscious Traveling: What It Is & How it Can Show you Who you Really Are


My last trip to Paris changed me.

While winding my way through cobbled streets and plazas, visiting museums, having croissants, and mingling with different people in different places, I came across aspects of myself that I was previously unaware of. Pondering on it, I was hit with the realization that, when approached from the right perspective, traveling can be a powerful tool for self-awareness.

Let me explain.

Traveling is Like Playing Video Games

As a kid, I loved playing video games. My favourite kind were the ones that progressed to new worlds as my character overcame challenges and became more skillful. Each world came with its own set of places, missions, villains and obstacles, which helped expand my character’s skills, exposing me to his full potential.

Traveling is very similar to such video games. Each continent, country, or city that you visit, is a new world, which pushes you out of your comfort zone, challenges your existing traits and beliefs, and encourages you to develop new ones. Your job is to bring these challenges into consciousness, and use them as opportunities to enhance your self-awareness and, therefore, experience your full potential.

A life of Sameness

Is traveling necessary for self-awareness? Of course not. But it makes it easier.

When you spend a long period of time in one place, you eventually fall into a routine that limits the range of experiences you can have. You end up interacting with the same group of people, going to the same places, reading the same kind of books, and doing all the same activities. Suddenly, your life becomes a life of sameness, with no spontaneity or passion – just a stream of same-old occurrences that eventually numb you out.

How to Practice Conscious Traveling

Traveling breaks that pattern of sameness, and challenges you to experience life from a different perspective. As you get out of your comfort zone and interact with different people, see new places, and try new things, you inevitably experience aspects of your personality that you were previously unaware of.

You may discover that you are particularly judgmental towards strangers, that you try to control your life too much, that too much traffic overwhelms you, or that you are afraid of heights. In simple words, when you expose yourself to anything new, stuff will come up. Conscious Traveling is about recognizing that stuff, owning them, and most importantly, doing something about them. From this perspective, conscious traveling becomes a powerful tool for spiritual growth.

To practice conscious traveling, follow these steps:

  1. Pick a destination. It may be a different continent, country, city, or even a place you haven’t been in your current place of residence
  2. Experience. Be a tourist, walk around, try new things, talk to strangers, let your senses guide you
  3. Be conscious. Of how you interact with space, people, and with yourself. Don’t take anything you do for granted. Observe the way you think, talk and act, and see if something unexpected comes up

Most importantly, take this in a playful way. Not every traveling experience will result in spiritual breakthroughs or a renewed sense of self. What’s important is that you don’t shy away from challenges, or from yourself, but you are willing to deepen your experience and awareness of yourself when you are called to do so.

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Spiritual Awakening (the easy way) – Review

Spiritual Awakening (the easy way) Tim van der Vliet

What is it?

Spiritual Awakening (the easy way) is Tim Van Der Vliet’s first book – a short, simple, yet powerful book, which takes a new slant on the process of finding enlightenment.

What’s it like?

It only takes 15 minutes to read the entire book, and it only takes 15 minutes to find spiritual awakening through it. What makes Spiritual Awakening (the easy way) such an interesting read, is the uniqueness of its design and content. What instantly stands out is its black cover with an imposing bulldog staring at you with a tilted head – not your typical cover of a book about spiritual awakening.

Divided into five parts, the book’s content is most accurately described as a series of enlarged affirmation cards, each with a different design; featuring quotes, and free verse poems. The language is simple but thought-provoking, and the five parts are structured in such a way to, incrementally draw you into Tim’s distinct way of finding enlightenment.

A poignant characteristic of the book is the use of rhetorical questions. Although, thought-provoking questions form the basis of many spiritual books, it is interesting to have a question take up an entire, sometimes two, pages of the book. It seems such a simple thing to do, yet having a question take up so much physical space gives it the emphasis that it needs, and forces you to, not just ponder on it for a second or two, but really search deep into your unconscious for wisdom.

My experience

“You have to be kidding me!” That was my reaction as soon as I opened the book. Being used to reading lengthy and complicated spiritual books, I was completely taken aback by the almost-impossible-for-me-to-comprehend simplicity of the book. For three months I had it sitting on my bed table, meaning to read it but “not finding the time to.” Finally, one Sunday morning, feeling numbed by all the conventional spiritual books I had to read, I decided to rebel.

Naturally, I was inclined to read a book that did the same!

Half-empty pages, single-line exercises, unexpected illustrations, inappropriate words, and a major lack of commas, was all that it took to win me over! Being a perfection freak, I felt so liberated to be exposed to a world view that broke out of the stereotypical spiritual narratives I’ve become so accustomed to. Page after page, I enthused on a journey that challenged my preconceived notions of spirituality. By the end of it, stripped off of intricate meditation techniques and spiritual jargon, I found the fresh new spiritual perspective I’ve been seeking:

Simple is pure
Pure is simple
That simple?

Lasting Insights

Irony, is what makes Spiritual Awakening (the easy way) such a powerful book. By breaking away from the stereotypical boundaries of most spiritual texts, it affords us with permission to break away from the similar boundaries of our ego.

In understanding this, we realize that, as healing and expansive as spirituality is, it also exists in rules and boxes that impose on us a certain lexicon, structure and set of perceptions that limit our experience of God. In their attempt to break away from the rigid rules of religion, they end up creating new ones. In its unique and rebellious format, Spiritual Awakening (the easy way), lend consent to, not only acknowledge that truth, but break away from it completely.

In Tim’s words “You are the only one in your life show. Now you know. Be a rebel, go find your truth, and forget those people (like me) who tell you how to.”

Where can I get it?

Check out Tim’s website, and purchase the book from Amazon.

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Become the Happiest Person you Know in 30 Days


How happy are you from 1 to 10?

If your answer was below 10, then this article is for you. I unequivocally believe that you are meant to be the happiest person you know. The only reason this may not be the case right now, is because your innate happiness is hindered by limiting beliefs and perceptions about what happiness is, and how much of it you deserve.

In this article, I’ll share with you the top two happiness myths that prevent people from experiencing unlimited happiness, and then I’ll guide you through a simple process that will help you become the happiest person you know, in just 30 days.

Happiness myths

Myth #1 – Happiness is pleasure

When most people talk about happiness, what they really refer to is pleasure. Pleasure is a pleasant, yet fleeting, moment-to-moment sensation, which is tied to external factors. We get pleasure from eating, shopping, going on a holiday, watching TV, making love, or spending time with friends. Whereas pleasure can help us get glimpses of true happiness, and can pave the way to experiencing it, it merely is but a fraction of the real deal. Making sense of this distinction, is the most important step to awakening yourself to true, unlimited happiness.

Myth #2 – Happiness is a destination

Perhaps the greatest pitfall to happiness is the belief that it exists somewhere in the future. “I will be happy when I get that job,” “I’ll be happy when I find the perfect boyfriend,” or,” going for a holiday in the Caribbean will make me so happy.” By projecting happiness into the future, we hold ourselves into a self-inflicted prison of unfulfillment, that prevents us from experiencing true happiness.

Conversely, true happiness is found when we stop searching for it, as it already IS us. When we accept that we are born happy, we realize that we were happy all along, and the only reason we haven’t been experiencing it is because we’ve been searching for it in all the wrong places. Consequently, the only way to experience true happiness is to stop searching for it in the future, and start acknowledging it in the present moment.

30 days to Happiest

How do you go about slowing down your quest towards happiness and experiencing it now? In the same way that you programmed yourself into searching for happiness, you can re-program yourself into being happy – consciously, and deliberately.

The ideal time to bring happiness in the present moment is in the morning. Taking the time to consciously bring yourself into a state of happiness before you expose yourself to any worrisome thoughts and experiences, helps you set the tone of your day to a happier one. This will help you build a positive emotional basis, that will guide the way you respond to whatever that day has in store for you.

  1. Get a piece of paper and brainstorm ways you can craft your ideal morning ritual. You can do anything from meditation, listening to music, doing positive affirmations, making a gratitude list, watching funny videos, or exercising.
  2. Choose three activities from your list and dedicate 30 minutes each morning to consciously practicing happiness. Yes, that means waking up earlier in the morning to invest time in your happiness.

Tip: If you catch yourself complaining that you don’t have time for it then I invite you to ask yourself: Do you have time to feel like crap?

It’s time that you own your magnificence, set your priorities straight, and dedicate yourself to experience your full potential.

No excuses. Time to be happy!

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